The big boss is coming to town. I'm writing to get some of the anxiety out of my insides and "off gas" it into the blogosphere.

There will be preening. And long, tedious meetings. There will be speechifying. And, there will be public floggings in the main square. (Well, I'm not so sure about that last bit)

I never feel truly good about the work I do at this place. There's always something I've screwed up, or haven't done up to par. And the sad thing is, it's always internally focused things that take up so much time that I'm not able to do the right thing for my customers. It's a queasy, slippery feeling almost all the time.

Oddly, I know what to do about this, but don't remember very often. Focus on what I can control--my actions, my attitude. Do what I can, have realistic (so difficult for someone who really prefers unreality) appraisal of what I can accomplish each day. Try to remember how much longer it takes to do simple things because of the paperwork and beauracracy involved. And BE GRATEFUL TO HAVE A JOB!

Seriously, I live in the city that took in the biggest wave of Katrina victims. It's bad manners to whine about feeling unsatisfied and inept at work.

And, once again, I tell myself that I will make a plan and take steps to change things. Start by simplifying my life a bit. Talk to people and let them know I'm looking for my next career adventure. And, one more time, remind myself that unless I do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, I'm not going to feel right about anything on the job. Oh, yes, and remember that the assholes and miscreants I work with are sick human beings like me. No different. It's just that I can see their blindspots and weaknesses so much more clearly than my own.

You mean, have compassion? On them? On me?

Oh yeah, that's what I meant.